Positivity to those who live positively

Positive energy brings about more positivity. That is what this blog and this year, 2011, is all about - maintaining positivity and enjoying life to the fullest (every little moment)!

That was the closing paragraph of my first post of my very first blog ever. January 2011 seems so far away. I stopped blogging last year as things started getting hectic and I stopped taking a moment to look at the beauty around me. Since my last blog post, I got a promotion, passed the first part of the Certified Management Accountant Exam, and well...stopped blogging. 

So much has happened since then. While getting ready for a friend's rehearsal dinner I got a call from both my cousin and mom that my grandmother probably wasn't going to make it through the weekend. I was a four hour drive and I decided with the storm outside, it being late, and the overwhelming sadness I felt that I shouldn't make the trip. That being said, I woke up at 3 am knowing I needed to be with my family and I was going to miss the wedding. I then woke up about every 20-30 minutes after that until I got the call that she was gone. 

Let me back up a minute. My grandmother - she was not a beauty queen, she wasn't a woman seeking power in a room filled with men, she didn't dream of fortune or fame. She was just pure love and strength. I learned so much from her about what it meant to be strong without needing to be the center of attention, to love without question or judgement, and to be kind to others. She is my hero, she is the most amazing woman I have ever known and for that I will be forever grateful. And now she is gone.

So, the wedding would continue on, but I was going to Lakeland. I have to admit, I felt kind of bad as a couple of the other groomsmen came to get Nuri and they found me outside our room crying my eyes out. I don't think they knew what to do. I don't remember much about that day. I just remember loving Nuri beyond a question (he was selfless that day and the days to follow), needing to be with my mom and my Tracie, and having this feeling that I was going to crawl out of my skin.

From that point on, I had to deal like my grandmother showed me how to do so many times. Let me point out that I am not a weak woman. I have had my share of trials and sadness and probably too many to share on this blog and too many before I was even 18, but this was a blow. 

The holidays came with sadness. New Year's Eve came and I had LDN with Katie and a party at a friend's house. I remember discussing how Zelda was lethargic and maybe she had heartworms. The next day we took her to the Emergency Vet and within a week we had to say goodbye to prevent any prolonged suffering for her. She was my joy and my comfort whenever I was sad. What do you do when the cuddle that can bring a smile to your face no matter what is gone. A few weeks went by and then came a terrible cough, a knee injury, another cold, Nuri's PhD threatened by a crazy power-hungry woman, and my grandmother's sister who I am very close to having a major stroke...2012 is one year I would like to forget. Hmmm...kind of reminds me of 1992 (maybe ever 20 years I need to hibernate). 

Okay, okay...this is depressing and this is not meant to be depressing!!! The other day Nuri asked me why I was being so positive. As I said last year and reposted at the top, positivity brings about more positivity. I am going to turn all sad things into a positive.

This year - I will blog again and more often. I will volunteer at an assisted care facility and the humane society to service two demographics that have been very influential in my life. I will read more. I will exercise more. I will make an effort to see those friends I don't see often enough. I will live life to the fullest. I will rescue another puppy who needs all the love I have to give. I will enjoy more wine and good beer (shout out to Tipples). I will cook, bake, make doggie treats, and experiment more. I will remain positive that good things come to those who live positively.

Love,

Melissa